Actually no Free Hugs here, just a heads up on some FREE ministry stuff though. I just got word that next week at Building Small Groups.com their Small Group Leaders Orientation Guide will be available FREE. Here is an overview from their website of what is included in the guide.
OVERVIEW This guide is designed to help you equip your church to provide orientation and basic training to new small group leaders, and to help seasoned small group leaders refresh themselves on their responsibilities. You may use it either for a group training session or to give individually to small group leaders.
PREPARE FOR YOUR ROLE The Big Picture of Small Groups Leader, get ready to take part in a savory slice of real life. by Angie Ward Psalm 34:3
Casting Vision from Day One As the leader, endorse a balanced approach for life change and group health. from Bay Area Fellowship Church, Corpus Christi, TX Isaiah 43:19
Advice From an Experienced Leader Build confidence as you care for your people and guide exploration of God's truth. interview with Kevin Rapp Philippians 4:9
Job Description and Standards of Performance Personal Ministry Small Group Ministry Standards of Performance
PERFORM FOR YOUR ROLE
The First Meeting Tips to make your first group meeting succeed. from Crossroads Church, Loveland CO 1 Corinthians 3:10
Take Your Group Deeper Five practices that take small groups beyond polite "sharing." by John Ortberg Ephesians 314-19
Small Group Problem Solving How to respond when people act up, act out, and ask tough questions. from Bay Area Fellowship Church, Corpus Christi, TX Philippians 2:1
The Marks of Leadership Success Monitor the health of your group by using this assessment tool. from United Methodist Church of the Resurrection, Leawood, KS Colossians 3:12-14
SAMPLE PRAYER LIST FURTHER EXPLORATION
Nine other helpful resources, including websites and books, for helping you grow small group leaders.
Total number of handouts - 10, 22 pages
Typical this guide is available for download at $14.95 - But next week it will be free (I am not sure if the FREE is for a determined amount of time - so therefore you will want to get it immediately)
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David Rudd has been doing a series on Community Killers. The four complications are:
Commitment (or lack thereof)
Crisis
Conflict
Complaining
First up in the series is COMMITMENT.
Nothing will hamper a group’s efforts to grow like a lack of commitment from group members. While it will always be true that different group members will exhibit different levels of commitment to the group, a potentially harmful experience can develop if one or more group members demonstrate a significant lack of commitment to the group. This lack of commitment might exhibit itself in at least three different ways: attendance patterns, participation habits, and relational development.
Read the rest HERE and visit his website to read about the other "killers".
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This article is from one of the small groups directors at Granger Community Church in Indiana:
Which of these questions would you rather ask or be asked?
1. I'm getting together with a couple people over at Panera. I think you might enjoy getting to know them. You wanna come meet them?
2. I'm starting a small group with a couple people. We're meeting at Panera. I think you might enjoy getting to know them. You wanna come be a part of our small group?
I frequently have people who are well connected to GCC, and they want to get some people together for a group. They typically say, "We have some people in mind to ask about joining our group, but do you know of anyone that might want to join us?" (People are now familiar with our strategy for communication, so they don't ask us to post it in the bulletin.) I take the opportunity to adjust the goal.
Rather than looking for people to join your group, look for people who want to meet the people you know. Start socially. The conversation can still be very intentional to get to know one another. After a few times where it is apparent they seem to enjoy one another, talk about interest to do this more regularly; they can then talk as a group about how they'd like to spend the time together.
The foundation for a group is relationship. People will more likely commit to meeting regularly with people they enjoy, but they have to spend time getting to know one another. It happens over time. You can't rush it, but you can remain intentional about it.
I couldn't agree more with these sentiments. You can never forget that small groups are all about relationships. It isn't about recruiting people to become part of a program or ministry. People aren't "goals" or "objectives". If we treat people like that, it undermines the relational quality and integrity of the very group we are hoping to develop. First, just get into relationship with one another. Do Life Together. A regular small group meeting most likely will follow eventually.
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Are you a small group leader? Do you find yourself leading Bible study discussions? Do you ever get those questions from the group that just leave you scratching your head and stroking your chin? Of course, no one expects you to have all the answers - you are not expected to be the Bible-Answer person. You don't have to know everything. And yet, it is always important to know where to go to find answers (and also help with preparation).
The cool thing about the internet is that there are so many useful and accessible tools to make the Scriptures come alive. The next time you are digging in the scriptures, either for your personal devotion or in preparation to teach others, check out these on-line resources.
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In the past couple of days, several websites and blogs had been pointing me to this article on Christianity Today. And so certainly I took notice to read it!
The article mapped out several myths that the church has bought into in attempting to reach out to people. Myth #3 on the list was -Everyone needs small groups. That statement certainly surprised me. Perhaps you are surprised too as you read that statement. But listen below as the author unpacks our understanding of that myth.
Okay, let’s all say it together: “We don’t want to be a church with small groups, but a church of small groups.” Everybody says it. Well, everybody but Mecklenburg (their church).
We have found that small groups are very much needed by those who need small groups. Read that sentence again slowly. The truth is that many do not need them, and may not be best served by them.
We initially rebuffed this idea. Somehow it was sacrilegious to even verbalize the thought. In fact, small groups can become just as much a sacred cow to the contemporary church as Sunday school was to earlier generations.
We discovered instead that it is community that is taught in the Scriptures, not a programmatic methodology for achieving it. Yes, there were house churches in the New Testament, but this is a narrative insight, not a didactic teaching from Scripture. Early cell groups have more to do with the nature of the growth and culture of the early church than they do a methodological mandate.
We are not anti-small group. But small groups are not the answer for everything for everyone. We have had to learn to think beyond (read “in addition to”) small groups for assimilation, community, and pastoral care. Specifically, we’re rediscovering the lost art of one-on-one mentoring. We also encourage a team mentality and community spirit built around ministry activities.
Todd Hiestand, a blogger commented on this small group statement as well. In writing the copy for small groups on his new church website he wrote this:
We think small groups are great. We encourage everyone to be in Christian community where you are being encouraged and prayed with and prayed for. If that means an official small group, here are a few options. If you one of these options doesn’t work for you we encourage two ways forward. Either let us know and we’ll see if there is a need for a new group or gather some of your friends together and start your own. Just let us know how we can help.
What do you think? Does everyone "need" a small group? Are we missing the point when we push small groups at the expense of helping people develop community?
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When do you call it quits? What do you do when your small group appears to be merely on life support? Sam Neal has posted a great article called “When Is a Small Group ‘Just Another Meeting’?” on BuildingChurchLeaders.com.
Sam asks some excellent and provoking questions in this article and lists five ways to decide if it’s time to move on. Well worth reading. Here is a excerpt:
When does a small group become just another meeting? When does a small group cross the line between supportive community and draining obligation? How do you know when it’s time to go?
There’s no straight answer, of course. But there are some common symptoms I’ve observed in my own life, and in the lives of others. Here are a few of the main ones-
· You bring a negative attitude to the group. I knew things had gotten out of hand when my wife began to scold me after meetings for being “morose.”
· You continually “misfire” in your responsibilities within the group. Things like forgetting to answer homework questions, not following through on promises and forgetting to pray for people are all signs that you are mentally and emotionally detached from the group, if not physically.
· You regularly fail to attend group meetings. If the group has become low enough on your priority list that you are unable to consistently attend, it’s probably time to move on.
· You’ve identified a clear alternative. I’m not talking about a television show you’d like to watch, or more time spent at work. I’m talking about a different way to slake your inborn need for community.
· You just know. Small groups have a pattern of birth, life, growth, decline, and death. The same thing is true for individual involvement in a small group, and sometimes you just know that the time has come to try something else.
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Don't get involved in a Small Group! What you say??!! How can you say that? You are a small group director. That's because I don't want people to get in a small group, rather I want them to connect into relationships!
It is important to communicate the priority of creating relationships- certainly groups are a great place to do that -but the point isn't a group, it is a relationship.
We used to have a saying in college ministry - G.A.G. This stood for Get A Group. GAG was not a good thing. When a person was GAGging it meant that they were more interested in getting a small group put together rather than the bigger picture of the relationships that needed to be developed.
When a person was only interested in getting a group -a small group merely became a task. It became an end in itself. When that happens people merely feel as if they are cogs in the wheel of a program or project.
Small groups rather are a means to an end. They are a venue in which people connect and can build relationships. That is what we are really desiring, relationships. Real, authentic and caring relationships.
When you think of starting your next small group, make sure you don't GAG!
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Experiencing life changing and authentic worship in a small group setting can be a revolutionary way to take your small group to a deeper level. Moreover, leading worship in a small group is greatly aided with the tools now available. (Some are listed at the end of this article)
Providing an atmosphere of worship enables group members to demonstrate their faith in a tangible way and also experience worshiping the Lord together. Worshiping together in a small group setting can be an excellent facilitator for moving people towards true transparency where they begin by focusing not on themselves but on the power of our Lord.
Remember that since Worship is more than singing, you don’t have to be a singer to lead it. Jesus demonstrated many ways to worship: He prayed, He taught, He was baptized, He fasted, He quoted scripture, and He sang (Matt 26:30). Today singing is a very popular form of worship.
Of Course, all the small groups I have been in would much rather sing than fast. As Music is a language that speaks very well to the thirsty soul and creates a genuine sense of community within the Group, incorporating music into the small group worship experience has great benefits.
Today the general model for contemporary worship in most congregational worship services is 4 people in a band with one lead singer. This model can be easily adapted or changed to fit worship in a small group setting. You can easily use the songs from today’s contemporary worship artists in a small group context as well as the Hymns of our faith.
Here are some of my tips for small group worship. Sing fewer songs using less time than in a larger worship service. My experience in a small group is that I can sing a song for them to listen to and ask them to join in when they know it.
Everyone singing is not the goal (it’s nice). The goal is that the group connects with God and each other.
Music is a great part of small group participation but that participation involves more reflection and introspection. Don’t stop between songs. Avoid trying to manipulate the small group into a pep rally is if everyone singing at the top their voice is what makes a quality worship experience. Small group members do a lot of listening, and that’s just fine.
Pick songs that are easy to sing. Using only the choruses of well known songs encourages participation. Choose songs that have very singable words, a simple melody and limited musical range, let’s say a one octave range. Songs like “Here I Am to Worship,” “Lord I Life Your Name on High,” “More Love More Power,” many of the Passion songs, and most of the CCLI (Christian Copyright Licensing Incorporated) Top 100 songs are easy to sing.
Most of all, remember that worship is more than music. It’s a lifestyle.
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OWENSBORO, Ky. — A small group from Rolling Hills Christian Church arrived at a place of unprecedented honesty with each other last Tuesday when they discovered that nobody in the group actually liked anyone else.
"We all realized, ‘You know what? I don’t care for any of you, and I find your kids annoying,’" says one man who was present.
The moment of openness came while they planned their annual small group camping trip. Some disagreed over dates and camping locations, until one man finally said, "To be honest, I don’t relish spending any extra time with any of you, especially not a week-long trip." Others voiced their agreement and several people applauded.
"It hurt so good," said one participant. "I felt huge relief at not having to pretend to like these people anymore."
The discussion progressed as people revealed what they disliked about the others. Marty, a middle-aged umarried woman, was singled out for being too socially needy and bringing up the same prayer requests she’s had for the past five years. The group was also tired of praying for her "unspoken request" which everyone knew was to find a husband.
The Perez family was blasted for allowing their children to run around the house unchecked and eat the adult desserts before the adults had a chance to eat them.
"I made the loveliest pumpkin cupcakes one time and the kids inhaled them in about thirty seconds," says one woman. "From that point on, I just brought store-bought snacks." Everyone voiced annoyance at the homeschooling family but couldn’t find a specific reason to, given that the daughter sits quietly in the corner reading Little House on the Prairie books. "I guess she’s mousy. That’s about the worst I can say," said one member.
The outpouring of truthfulness came five years after the group was created by a church secretary who is now employed elsewhere. At the time, the secretary was responsible for placing all church members into small groups by geographic proximity, age and "sometimes the sounds of their names," she says.
But this group struggled to gel.
"I always looked for reasons to like everyone, but I just couldn’t find them," says one woman. "I’m just put off by each person." Another man says he worked hard "to enjoy their company and find common interests, but I just couldn’t do it." Now, he says, "I’m tired of wasting one night a week on them. I’m even tired of the smell of their houses."
The group agreed to have what they call a "Paul-Barnabas split" in which they part company willingly, with hopes that the others flourish in some other environment, away from the rest.
To the surprise of many, the experience has given them a common bond. "I like these people a lot more since we all admitted we don’t really like each other," says one man. "I still don’t want to meet with them every week, but at least we have a real relationship now."
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At Big Creek church our small groups are called LIFE groups. I appreciate David Rudd's analogy here on how LIFE groups are to grow. Comparing it more to a greenhouse as opposed to a garage or a meadow. I will let David expand on this analogy more. Here is his post over at Creative Community:
LIFE groups can be best described through the metaphor of the greenhouse. However, to understand the greenhouse, you must first take a moment to consider the garage and the meadow.
Imagine a typical garage. Likely it is a highly organized place. Most garages have shelves, cabinets, and other storage areas. A garage is a place where a lot of different things can happen because it is well organized. In addition to housing cars, most garages also serve as work spaces. Often they are a place for auto repairs or woodworking. A properly functioning garage provides plenty of space to efficiently accomplish several tasks.
Most garages look the same. They typically have a square or rectangular shape, concrete floors, unfinished walls, and a large door. Because they are designed to be functional, not artistic, little variety exists from garage to garage.
Garages are a place to accomplish tasks, not to grow things. If something is growing in your garage, you likely have a problem.
Now imagine a meadow. Nothing in a meadow is organized. This lack of control allows anything and everything to grow in a meadow. Meadows are completely random and completely disorganized. A meadow is not a place where tasks are accomplished. A meadow is a place you go when you have nothing to do.
Meadows are inviting places because of the incredible variety of growing plants. Even weeds contribute to the appeal of a meadow. The lack of organization and efficiency in the meadow help contribute to the wide variety of growth. The primary thing that happens in a meadow is growth. No systems exist, there are no processes; just wild, uncontrolled growth.
Small group programs at many churches resemble garages. Some small group programs resemble meadows.
"Garage Churches" organize their small groups from the top-down. Most decisions are made by staff. A great deal of what happens in groups and ministries happens via dictation. Systems and policies are put in place to ensure high efficiency. Usually, every group follows the same specific plan. The church developes a pattern, and every group is expected to squeeze into the pattern. Little or not room exists for creativity. Typically, organizational productivity takes precedent over personal growth. Victories are usually measured by accomplishment of the church goals and increased attendance or giving, rather than by personal life change.
"Meadow Churches" allow everyone to do what is right in their own eyes. Most decisions are made by individuals with little or no consideration as to how they might impact others. No one makes an effort to give direction or oversee any groups or ministries. No "big picture" plans or goals exist. Different groups regularly engage in "turf wars" because no one has a shared vision for the direction of the church. Every group makes their own plan. Each group is given the freedom to evaluate itself, make plans, and study material which is effective for the current needs of the group. Personal growth is given precedent over organizational productivity. The larger goals of the group take backseat to the growth and development of each person and group. Numbers and statistics are not nearly as important as personal and group stories.
Both the garage church and the meadow church have aspects that are desirable. However, both models also have clear weaknesses. We are trying to develop a ministry model at Calvary that builds on the strengths of both models and minimizes the weaknesses of each model. We call this hybrid the "greenhouse" model. Our primary objective is to "provide the minimum structure necessary to allow for maximum growth."
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Is your small group getting stale? Has it become the same old, same old? Then crank it up a notch with this list of the worst small group study guides. These guides are for the small group - where it can't get any worst:
Top 10 Worst Small Group Study Guides
10. Leviticus Laws: A 52-Week In-Depth Study
9. How To Become A Bullhorn Preacher In 6 Weeks
8. Everything You Wanted to Know About Hell, Fire, & Brimstone (But Were Afraid To Ask)
7. The Ins & Outs of Biblical Circumcision
6. Simple Questions: A 12-Week Guide To Giving Sunday-School Answers
5. The Black-And-White Guide to Christianity's Grey Issues
4. The Crusades (And Christianity's Other Most Embarrassing Moments)
3. Improving Your Marriage Through Changing The Bad Things About Your Spouse
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Leading small group discussions can be one of the more challenging things you face as a leader. How do you ask questions that get people to talk and participate? How do you get some people to stop talking and stop dominating the conversation? How do you ask questions that allow the members to discover truth for themselves rather than you just simply spoon feeding them?
To get some help with this, watch this slide show that David Rudd posted on his website and then download the resource below.
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Willow Creek Association is posting a very helpful 3 part series on Assimilation into Small Groups.
Here is an excerpt from the series, taken from the second post-
Broadly speaking, you can group unconnected people like this:
People who are actively looking for a small group. (Relentless) People who would join a small group if asked. (Ready) People who would join a small group if asked repeatedly. (Reluctant) People who would rather be nibbled to death by minnows. (Resistant)
In the first class, folks are actively pursuing community and just need information. They are hungry for community, and will relentlessly pursue it. The Relentless comprise about 10% of your unconnected target.
The second class covers another 50%. An amazingly high number of folks are Ready, and would join a group if someone would just ask them. But no one has, maybe because the church has implemented a strategy designed for the Relentless (too much information, not enough invitation).
The third class presents an interesting but solvable challenge. The Reluctant need time to develop trust, multiple invitations, and a very low barrier to entry (convenient times and locations, lightweight discussions or extended social times, and an easy way to get out.) The Reluctant 20% may need prior relationships with group members or a chance to break the ice before making a commitment to attend.
The last 20% of your unconnected are the Resistant. They will never join a group, even though they may say they want to. For example, most men want to be in a small group until they find out they have to join one. They love the vision of community, but the reality is too much for them. The same is true of individuals (or couples) who are given multiple connection options and reject them all. (Every option is too far, too long, too intense, too frequent, or too different.) Love them, pray for them, but don’t waste time designing a system to try to reach them. God can overcome their resistance, but nobody else is going to come close.
I think that Willow Creek is correct is their assessment of where people fall into the four categories they defined. It is important to remember that 60% of the people that come to your church are low hanging fruit - ready to pick. Either with information or an invitation, most people will be ready and eager to get involved in a small group.
Therefore the two keys are clear information (what to expect, where do they meet etc..) and a simple process. If you can nail these down, most people in your church will be ready for a small group. And then you can spend the time to do the rest of the heavy lifting in order to move the other 40% into small groups over time.
Make sure you read the entire series, here are the links to the entire 3 part series
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Nothing will hamper a group’s efforts to grow like a lack of commitment from group members. While it will always be true that different group members will exhibit different levels of commitment to the group, a potentially harmful experience can develop if one or more group members demonstrate a significant lack of commitment to the group. This lack of commitment might exhibit itself in at least three different ways:
The discussion progressed as people revealed what they disliked about the others. Marty, a middle-aged umarried woman, was singled out for being too socially needy and bringing up the same prayer requests she’s had for the past five years. The group was also tired of praying for her "unspoken request" which everyone knew was to find a husband.
But this group struggled to gel.
