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Anatomy Of A Church Conflict

Over at the 9Marks blog Michael McKinley has a great piece on the anatomy of a church conflict from Mike Minter‘s seminar he attended. Here’s the breakdown:
  1. An offense occurs. 
  2. A biased view of the offense is shared with friends. 
  3. Friends take up the offense. 
  4. Sides begin to form. 
  5. Suspicion on both sides develop. 
  6. Each side looks for evidence to confirm their suspicion. You can be sure they will find it. 
  7. Exaggerated statements are made. 
  8. In the heat of conflict those involved hear things that were never said and say things they wish they had never said. 
  9. Third parties, no matter how well intentioned, can never accurately transfer information from one offended party to the other. 
  10. Past offenses unrelated to the original offense surface. 
  11. Integrity is challenged. 
  12. People call each other liars. 
  13. Those who try to solve the problem (e.g., church leadership) are blamed for not following the proper procedure and become the new focus. 
  14. Many are hurt. 
Have you ever been involved in serious church conflict? Were you able to pull it out of it's tailspin and bring reconciliation and healing? 

photo from Ben


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