The Internet's Best Practices for Ministry

Welcome to our site. Our mission and dedication is to equip leaders for innovative ministry. Explore. Read. Share.

Welcoming Guests and First Impressions

The sermon starts in the parking lot, and the impression you make for your guests on Sunday morning during the first 10 minutes will be indelible.

Technology and The Church

Leveraging technology for ministry can be an incredible blessing. But it can also be fraught with problems and pitfalls. Learn how to use technology well.

Vision and Leadership

Our God longs for leaders to request of Him to do that which they cannot. Faith filled vision, leadership and risk are key ingredients for ministry.

Preaching and Communication

You know and understand how challenging it is to communicate. It is hard to get and capture people's attention. Learn how to communicate effectively.

Creativity and Innovation

Being creative means asking the right questions and making new associations. Discover new and creative ideas for your ministry.

Visual Thinking

Check this out- Guy Kawasaki has a great post on the Art of Visual Thinking.
In the venture capital business, many people think that a short pitch is thirty slides and a short business plan is fifty pages. My how they are mistaken.

The more slides and pages that you need to explain your business, the less likely you will succeed. Truly, the best pitches and plans require nothing more than one page or a picture to explain them. Do you recognize this picture? It's how Southwest Airlines was pitched.

(ht: Guy K)

Life Group start-up

We are having a Life Group (our small groups ministry) kick off event to help connect those who aren't in a group already and as well launch our Life Groups with momentum right at the beginning of the ministry year.

This is our teaser ad (the back of it, has some details)

There are three ads, all built around our "3 Loves" of Big Creek. Love God. Love Each Other. Love the Community.

The graphic was easy. We took a picture and ran it through:

And I use PaintDotNet program which is a great open source, free graphics and photo editing tool.

Being Innovative

These are good thoughts by Ben Arment about his job and call to be innovative.
If you do something innovative and then do it again and again for years on end, it's no longer innovative. So my job is to sabotage sacred cows that threaten the future. I don't want us to wake up someday with an organization that is taken for granted. The hardest plan to change is the one that worked in the past. So to be innovative is to stick my neck out and put myself at risk for unproven ideas.

It's to experiment at the highest levels of excellence and learn quickly from mistakes. No one recognizes innovation while it's innovating, so it's about living in obscurity before ideas take off. My job is to fight for ideas that I'm not even sure will work, but pound on conference room tables and create sound financial models as if I do. It's to help create a culture of progress, which comes with never being satisfied.
(read the whole post HERE)

(ht: Ben Arment)

Technology has it's limits

If you have been a reader of Ministry Best Practices and you know me personally, you know that I love to be able to leverage technology for the Kingdom ministry. But take to heart these words by Billy Graham talking in his 80's at TEDs Talks about what technology cannot do.

(ht: Think Christian)


"All of us in the Coca-Cola family wake up each morning knowing that every single one of the world's 5.6 Billion people will get thirsty that day...and we are the ones with the best opportunity to refresh them. Our task is simple: make Coca Cola and our other products available, affordable, and acceptable to them, quenching their thirst and providing them a perfect moment of relaxation. If we do this..if we make it impossible for these 5.6 Billion people to escape Coca Cola...then we assure our future success for many years to come. Doing anything else is not an option."

Rober C. Goizueta, CEO and Chariman of the Board of Coca-Cola, report to stockholders in their 1993 annual report.

Now if a person can be that passionate about carmel colored sugar water, how much more passionate should we be about people hearing the gospel?

Cliff Notes on Vision

Here are some quick hits on Vision:
  • Where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint (Proverbs 29:18)
  • Without vision: family members eat separately in their own rooms; churches argue; companies only have employees
  • "Without vision, people will define their own vision and the loudest voice will prevail."
  • Vision unifies us around a preferred future; a future that can’t be accomplished by myself.
  • Great leaders cast a clear, concise and compelling vision.
  • "If your vision doesn't scare you, then both your vision and your God are too small." - Brother Andrew
  • For vision to to motivate it must connect on 3 levels:
    1) Mind-to-Mind – Vision is strategic. While your vision may be, as Jim Collins says, "big, hairy and audacious," people have to believe that it is attainable. When you connect, it becomes “OUR PLAN” and people give their resources.
    2) Heart to Heart – Vision is passionate. When people see you, they see, feel and taste the vision. It becomes something you were created for and are willing to die for. When you
    connect, it becomes “OUR DESIRE” and people give their life.
    3) Soul-to-Soul – Vision is personal. It comes from God but it permeates your life. A calling. A confidence that IT will be accomplished. When you connect, it becomes “OUR CALLING” and people take responsibility.
  • Winston Churchill believed that leadership's foundation was vision. He had five tools he used when he got ready to communicate vision. Here they are:

  • And take this poem by Sir Francis Drake to heart:

    Disturb us, Lord, when
    We are too well pleased with ourselves,
    When our dreams have come true
    Because we have dreamed too little,
    When we arrived safely
    Because we sailed too close to the shore.

    Disturb us, Lord, when
    With the abundance of things we possess
    We have lost our thirst
    For the waters of life;
    Having fallen in love with life,
    We have ceased to dream of eternity
    And in our efforts to build a new earth,
    We have allowed our vision
    Of the new Heaven to dim.

    Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
    To venture on wider seas
    Where storms will show your mastery;
    Where losing sight of land,
    We shall find the stars.

    We ask You to push back
    The horizons of our hopes;
    And to push into the future
    In strength, courage, hope, and love.

10 Ways to Draw me to Your Church

You want me to come and stay at your church? Then...

10. Show me Jesus

9. Smile

8. Serve me

7. Help me to get involved and connected

6. Look me in the eye

5. Ask my opinion

4. Be clear and anticipate my questions

3. Remember my name

2. Call me (without asking me for something)

1. Be yourself

All of these together boil down to one simple message: Show That You Care.

Top 10 Things You Should Know About Unchurched People...

… if you want them to hear what you’re saying

1. People don’t care about the church database.

2. People aren’t motivated by your need. They’re motivated by theirs.

3. People don’t care about their next step until they know they’re valued where they are now.

4. People don’t know who you are, no matter how long you’ve been around the church.

5. People multi-task and can’t remember squat.

6. People are turned off by lack of preparation.

7. People relate when you talk about them or people like them.

8. People feel left out and frustrated when you use insider’s language.

9. People aren’t impressed with your theological vocabulary and holy dialect.

10. People love stories, not lectures.

(Read the entire article and the explanations of each point from Kem Meyer at Outreach Magazine)

How to Control the Email flood

This story from the New York Times says it all:

The onslaught of cellphone calls and e-mail and instant messages is fracturing attention spans and hurting productivity. It is a common complaint.

Email flood is effecting major companies. It is also effecting pastors and ministry leaders.

If you haven't yet heard of Inbox Zero, the fascinating idea from the guys at 43 Folders you need to check it out.

When I get an email I process it using five criteria. I follow 5 choices to every email, either Delete it, Delegate it, Respond to quickly, Defer it or Do it.

Relevant Post: How to Get People to Read and Respond to Email Faster

Stimulate Your Senses

Creativity isn't just about sitting in a room alone and staring into space hoping an idea will pop in your head. As you try to cultivate creativity in your ministry, stimulate your senses.

That's correct...

Touch it
Smell it
Taste it
See it
Hear it 

You need to pay attention to the wide variety of different information that is around you every day.

If you're visually oriented, focus on the "sound" or the "smell" of a situation.

If you're analytically oriented, focus on how something feels.

If you're intuitive, concentrate on the logic.

Since creativity is all about making new associations, ask yourself, What associations do the following spark in your mind that might be useful to your issue?:

  • The sound of fingernails scratching a blackboard
  • The terrified howl of a man tormented byhi s inner demons
  • The feeling of a dentist drilling in your teeth
  • The taste of salt in your tea when you thought you had put in sugar
  • The smell of fresh paint
  • The smell of a shirt that has been worn for thirty days in a row
  • The smell of sweet incense
  • The feel of silk in your fingers
  • The smell of mist from a large fountain
  • The smell of fresh-brewed coffee
  • The feeling of a tennis ball hitting the heart of your racket
  • The feeling of the floor rolling beneath you during an earthquake
  • The smell of rotten fish
  • The sound of loud thunder crashing near you
  • The taste of a fresh strawberry
  • The smell of gasoline
  • The feel of diving into a swimming pool on a hot day
  • The sound of an air raid siren going off
  • The smell of burning leaves
  • The feeling of the warm sun through a glass window on a cold winter's day
  • The taste and sound of biting into a crunchy apple
  • The feeling of melancholy
  • The sound and feeling of a very large crowd cheering at an athletic event
  • The smell of day-old vomit
  • The smell of an airport restroom that hasn't been cleaned in twelve hours
  • The feeling of pushing yourself hard in an athletic event. 

Don't get in the way

Don't allow the medium or the message to get in the way of people seeing Jesus.

(ht: Crummy Church Signs)

Fix your broken windows today!

Have you ever heard of the Broken Windows Theory?

“The theory states that it is easier to solve a small problem before it becomes a big problem. For example, if one person tags (graffiti) the side of a building, a small area, you want to clean that area up before more people add their tags to the building, making it a big issue.” from Wikipedia

This was the theory that Mayor Rudy Giuliani of New York City used to clean up the city. He went after the small things, because when he did he stopped them from later becoming big problems for the city.

Consider this theory with regard to your team and ministry.

Do you have any broken windows within your team? If so, what are they?

What are the small things, issues, concerns and problems that require your attention? Perhaps you realize that a better job is needed to produce training materials for your team and volunteers. Or perhaps no strategies, goals or objectives are in place to coach and care for your team. Perhaps you and your ministry have some outdated tools or procedures. Or, it could even be something old, outdated or dilapidated about your own church building. No matter what it may be, these small issues could be the cause of big problems now and even bigger problems going into the future.

Now, consider if these problems were solved immediately when they first happened or became apparent.

If you developed better training, care and accountability into your team today, it may help you recruit more volunteers for your team in the months ahead and you will reduce the attrition of your current volunteers in the future. Also, if you repaint the front of your church building or maintain your landscaping, you may find that church members are more willing to pick up litter in the parking lot.

A lot of small things can add up. The small things have a cascading effect, they cannot be ignored.

Solving small problems quickly may prevent bigger problems from coming up later.

(thanks to Agile Ministry for their thinking on this subject)

The Church2.0 Local Forum

Church 2.0 Local Forum hosted by Greg Atkinson and other special guests and sponsors.

Friday, August 22,and Saturday, August 23rd, 2008

Free food, free give-aways, meet Greg, as well as other "Church 2.0" contributors, Church leaders and ministry leaders.

Come share your story of what God is doing where you are. Meet new friends and find out more about the Church 2.0 project. I will be there and our church is sponsoring the lunch.

Check for more info on the church or visit Forum Church 2. 0 Atlanta for more information about the event.

Bottle Up Your Stories

I want to share with you a few responses from some our 1st time guests these past several weeks (as told by our lead pastor Jon Adams):

Couple #1 drove all the way from Lawrenceville to visit us. This is a very savvy churched couple. They have help plant 2-3 churches and have participated in church leadership for year. They told me that they are just looking to get 'filled up' as they have been in season of hard knocks at other churches. On Monday, I called this couple and didn't even have to ask the husband to tell me about his experience at Big Creek. He started gushing:

"We've never come to a more friendly church...ever. People were respectful, not pushy, but we had several different folks engage us in meaningful conversation. One couple asked us to their Life Group. Another couple asked us out to lunch. We were overwhelmed by the love and grace that they experienced at Big Creek."

Couple #2 had just bought a house in Windemere. They have young kids and are coming from a church in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. and currently living in a corporate apartment in the Virginia area. They just happened to drive by our new property, saw our sign, and looked up on our website for directions to our Windward Ridge location. This couple has visited several local churches...both big and smaller in size. A guest at Big Creek (who sat next to this couple) followed up with them, patiently waited in the Welcome area while I was talking to another couple, and then introduced me to them. The husband's comment to me was this:

"We have been looking for a place where we can just plug in and serve and be fed. This is obviously a friendly place and we're coming back!"

Guest #3 is a single mom visited for the first time 2 weeks ago. She came with her freshmen in college aged son who is a follower of Jesus and went up to the communion line to an elder to receive communion. She was so moved by the words of the elder and the power of the gospel that with tears she opened her heart to the love of Jesus. In an email to me this week, she wrote me:

"Coming to Big Creek has really opened my eyes and my heart. I never knew a church could be this way and I know it will be a big part of my life. You are so inspirational in the services, willing to admit your flaws and that it's OK, Jesus loves us all the same."

Wow, what encouraging stories of lives being changed and touched by the gospel! People are meeting Jesus during the worship and seeing Jesus through our lives.

In sharing these stories I am not suggesting that everyone who visits Big Creek walks away with the same opinions. I am certainly not boasting or bragging, because in fact I know for certain that we fail people all the time. We are not a perfect church and we don't have all of our stuff together.

But that is the point of these stories. God has allowed us to hear from these people their stories. God let us hear these stories to be an encouragement. Too often in ministry it is easy to see all the stuff that we are not doing right. And isn't it true that when people are dissatisfied with you or your church that they aren't shy in letting you know. We can too often let the negative overshadow all the great things that God is doing in our midst.

So when God allows you to hear and see those stories of grace like I shared, bottle them up. Save them. Keep them. They become reminders and memorials to all that God has done and is continuing to do. And at any point someone comes up to you and dumps on you, you can always open up that bottle and be reminded that He is still at work and accomplishing great things in people's lives.

Reading is the Trait of Leaders

Read the JollyBlogger's thoughts on Reading and Leadership. A pastor must be a reader. Books, magazines, blogs, cereal boxes - it doesn't matter, you must read.

And here is my summer reading, a good bit of it already done.

(cross posted from Provocative Church)

A Small Group with No Name

How NOT to lead a small group:

Produced by Community Christian Church.

(ht: Small Group Help)

How to Get Your Audience to Care

How do you get your audience to care or even understand anything about your latest innovation?

The latest issue of Fast Company has an interesting article on this topic. Chip and Dan Heath's (authors of Made to Stick) regular column digs into the practical side of this problem. The article is entitled "Selling Your Innovation: Anchor and Twist."

First, you must anchor your innovation with an idea that already has a mental hook with your audience. Second, you must give it a twist in order to distinguish it from the already known and understood mental hook.

Using the "anchor with a twist" idea provides a helpful template on how to communicate more effectively - weather it be a new innovation, new program or new idea.

(ht: Brad Lomenick)

Do you Twitter?

Perhaps you are answering my question with a question. What is Twitter?

It is basically Micro-blogging. It is where you share short little clips, called tweets, of what you are doing or where you are etc...

Here’s the Wikipedia summary: Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that allows users to send “updates” (or “tweets”; text-based posts, up to 140 characters long) to the Twitter website, via short message service (e.g. on a cell phone), instant messaging, or a third-party application such as Twitterrific or Facebook

I have been looking at Twitter for some time, and I have had a wait and see approach. I am not usually an early adapter with these things. I want to first know, How will this add value to my life? Will it be convenient and easy to use?

Needless to say, I have jumped on the Twitter bandwagon for the last couple of months. I am loving it! Twitter has proven to be a fun and powerful little tool.

The first thing that I like about Twitter is the ubiquitous nature of sending tweets. I can send them via SMS, IM, my Blackberry, Twirl (my PC app), Jott (using my voice) and even Firefox.

For instance, I can capture a quick Tweet through Google Talk while I am in Gmail...I am always in Gmail.

Or I can capture a quick Tweet through, when I am on the road. I have been using Jott like an animal, especially since they added the capability to audibly update my Google calendar. Using Jott, I can just call in, and add an audible update to Twitter.

The other thing that I like about Twitter are the practical uses for it. Within my first Twitter account, which you can follow HERE, I Twitter about life and happenings. The nice thing about using Twitter is that it updates my Facebook statuses as well.

Also, as I blogged previously HERE, I have used Twitter to journal my eating, diet and exercise.

Twitter has been a helpful and easy tool in recording and documenting my diet's progress.

Also, I am using Twitter for my upcoming missions trip starting next week. I will be able to Tweet updates, prayer requests and even some pictures using my phone and Blackberry.

Twitter is a tool that I can and do use. I encourage you to check it out if you haven't yet.

Not Art, Gospel.

The guys over at The Plow have been working on a project called, Not Art. Gospel. It is an artistic view of each topic on the Sermon on the Mount. It has been about a month since they started this project, and they have seen God do some amazing things through it. Through this project, doors have opened and it has cultivated some great conversations.

We want to create art that will lead to God, and we pray that this project will be for His glory.

These posters are free, so download the posters, print them, hang them, and then talk about the words of Christ.

(ht: The Plow)

Featured Blog:

If you do ministry with children, if you have a passion for reaching and teaching kids, then you want to check out this website. Tony Kummer , the owner of Ministry-to-Children, is a children’s pastor from Indiana.

I have found to continuously offer practical tips, fresh ideas and encouragement for those involved in children's ministry. You will find inspirational stories, how-to articles, curriculum reviews, Sunday school lesson plans, practical advice and straight talk about children’s ministry.

Ministry To Children is updated at least once each week and you can get all new articles by subscribing to Tony's free email newsletter.

(occasionally Ministry Best Practices will feature outstanding and helpful sites and blogs that prove to be a tremendous resource for you and your ministry.)

This just in from Catalyst

Brad Lomenick from Catalyst just posted this on his blog:

We're launching a new "store" on the Catalyst website, and I wanted to let you in on a few cool deals before anyone else knows about it. Go to the Catalyst store and check it out. Free shipping, free giveaways, a pretty cool prize to try and win, plus some specials on books and resources you might be interested in. You are the first to know about these deals, so consider yourself a VIP or in the know, or both.

(ht: Brad)

Stimulate Creativity with White Noise?

You want to stimulate your creativity? Do you want to increase brain power? Then you may want to try: I Dose

This is the blurb from their website:

Binaural Beats, affects our brainwaves directly, and can simulate various states, such as altering moods, behavior and consciousness.

Sounds crazy? We thought like that too. But guess what? we tried it, and it works!

You can now choose the state you wish to simulate, and to go to a unique journey.

What should I do to try this out?
1. Sit or lay down in a comfortable place.
2. Wear your headphones.
3. Choose your desired state from the following list.
4. Close your eyes, and enjoy the ride:)

I am not sure if this works, the idea of Binaural beats is new to me, but it all seems very fascinating.


Small Group Values

Bill Donahue from Willow Creek Association Group Life has completed a thought provoking series of posts on Group Life Values. I would encourage you to read them. I particularly think number 3 is very important, and perhaps now with the high price of gas, we will be more apt to think more local and make certain lifestyle choices.

Group Life Value #4: Community Life includes Compassion

Group Life Value #3: Community Life is Enhanced in Proximity

How Do You Measure Success?

David Phillips has a provocative post over at Backyard Missionary on "Re-imagining Success".

Here starts off his post recollecting a recent doctoral class he had with Len Sweet.

... he (Len Sweet) posed a question to us that went something like this: Provide for me the metaphors that will describe how we measure success in the church in the future. We are prone to measure success by how many and how much. And we determine who is a great leader by how many and how much.

So today, I want to share with you some of the metaphors we listed (and some I came up with afterward), of things we can count as a measure of success. But I need to issue a warning. You will have to think about these and you may push back unless you realize the metaphor. So don’t react…Ponder…

1. The number of cigarette butts in the church parking lot.
2. The number of adoptions people in the church have made from local foster care.
3. The number of pictures on the church wall of unwed mothers holding their newborn babies in their arms for the first time.
4. The number of classes for special needs children and adults
5. The number of former convicted felons serving in the church
6. The number of phone calls from community leaders asking the church’s advice
7. The number of meetings that take place somewhere besides the church building
8. The number of organizations using the church building
9. The number of days the pastor doesn’t spend time in the church office but in the community
10. The number of emergency finance meetings that take place to reroute money to community ministry

This post certainly has got me thinking.

Doing Marriage Counseling?

Which book do you use for pre-marital counseling? Which for married couples with problems? What's the best all around book on marriage? Here is a helpful resource - The Marriage Book Comparison Chart, which includes both a rating comparison chart and a brief review for thirty books on marriage.

Check it out -  Marriage Book Comparison Chart

Just do it a little different

When you simply take the "ordinary" and just do it just a little "different" - you get the WOW effect. All of a sudden, the ordinary suddenly get noticed.

For instance, take a bus stop. Ordinary. Usually a pole with a sign and maybe a bench, but do it a little different and it gets noticed.

Functionally, it's still a bus stop, but after looking at these pictures - any bus stop you may now see that is less than these examples would be a tremendous disappointment.Often, that is all it takes in your ministry.

Take something ordinary or normal in your church or ministry. Maybe it's a speech, a meeting, a brochure, an email, or a service project in your community and simply "do it" just a little different. Creativity can be just that simple.

(ht: wacky archives)

Blogging for "quid pro quo"

In response to my recent post about Sermon Spice, Adam made this thoughtful comment:

"I dunno about pay to post stuff man. Don't you think it effects your credibility?"

This was my response:


I appreciate your comment. Although I think my credibility would be more in jeopardy if I didn't put the disclaimer out there, and be totally honest and above reproach. Also, I think my credibility would again be in jeopardy if I didn't say something truthful. SermonSpice wanted bloggers who are already using the service to talk about it. I could say anything I wanted, Good, Bad or Ugly. And for my effort they gave me $20 gift certificate for my next purchase at SermonSpice.

The idea of receiving a gift for posting my comments was a new idea. I would ask other bloggers and readers of Ministry Best Practices - Was it right for me to do it?

Did the disclaimer make a difference in your opinion?

Have any of you all ever been given some gift in exchange for posting on your blog?

On my other blog, Provocative Church, I receive free books from publishers in order to review them - is that a similar issue and concern as this one is?

Please weigh in the comments - thanks.

Looking to Spice Up Your Worship?

Do you ever have trouble finding that right sermon illustration? Perhaps you need a Mother's Day video to honor the mother's in your congregation on Sunday. Or maybe you want to find a slick and fun countdown video leading up to the beginning of worship.

You may want to consider When I began working at Big Creek, I discovered a new opportunity (an opportunity that I didn't have at my previous church) - to use video during the worship service. But I wasn't sure where to find good quality and relevant videos. I stumbled upon SermonSpice during that time and have been using it ever since.

SermonSpice is a clearinghouse of video illustrations, backgrounds and countdowns. Certainly you can purchase video and backgrounds directly from the producers, such as BlueFish TV, Baked Pickles, or Vertical Hold. But with SermonSpice is mashes them all together in one convenient location.

SermonSpice not only offers a wide and varied selection of videos, backgrounds and countdowns to choose from, but they have a great search capability to find a video based on a genre (comic/dramic etc..) and topically/biblically.

SermonSpice is the first place I go looking for creative media. It has been a very helpful ministry tool, which I have recommended for several years. It saves me time and energy and the congregation always appreciates the creative and thoughtful videos.

Disclaimer: The above is a compensated, yet completely truthful, endorsement of a valuable ministry resource.

How to Love Your Wife and Family

The demands of pastoral ministry can be tough on the pastor's wife and family.  It may be tempting to put one's family on the alter and sacrifice them to all the demands of the church and ministry - but that would be a big mistake.  You can't love your church if you are neglecting and not loving your family. 

From 9Marks ministry here are 30 Practical Ways For Pastors to Love Their Wives and Families
{Compiled by several pastors}

These are "truly" the BEST of the "ministry practices".  Here they are:

1. Take the initiative and establish a plan for family worship. Then follow the plan! (Don Whitney encourages "brevity, regularity, and flexibility" in family worship.)

2. Come home at the exact time you say you will be home; and prepare your heart to serve your family, not be served.

3. Take responsibility for your children's education and discipline—don't leave it to your wife to figure out.

4. Share with your wife and kids some of the good things that are going on in the church, and then thank them for helping to make that possible.

5. Use every hour of your vacation time. And take a vacation that does not involve extended family; restrict it to just your wife and kids.

6. Take a two week vacation.

7. Diligently guard your days off.

8. There are times when it seems like you have to choose whether to be a good dad/husband or a good pastor. Good pastors choose to be good dad/husbands.

9. Get up early and have your quiet time, so that you can take the kids in the morning while your wife has her quiet time.

10. Give her flowers and a hand written card when she least expects it.

11. Regularly schedule a date night and take the initiative on logistics, i.e. organize the baby-sitter, make reservations, and have a plan.

12. Make sure you know her favorite restaurant, meal, flowers, ice cream flavor, and movie.

13. Schedule a weekly time where you watch the kids and your wife gets out to do whatever she wants—not errands. When you can, give her a whole day off from the kids.

14. Decide together with your wife how many evenings you will be gone and honor what has been agreed upon.

15. On Sundays, leave for church a few minutes early to stop and get your wife her favorite coffee drink.

16. Ask your wife over a romantic dinner areas she wants to see you improve.

17. Take your wife to an encouraging conference.

18. Plan regular out-of-town personal retreats for just you and her. Plan time on your retreat to write down all the evidences of grace you see in one another's lives and then share them with one another. Later, spend time writing down your hopes for ways you want to grow as husband and father over the coming year (she doing the same for herself) and then share them with one another.

19. Respect and seek her opinion on things concerning the church.

20. Go for long walks.


Read the rest HERE